Arevaderce

As life settles down somewhat and DD settles in at her new school. New routines are created and as the days warm up, they are filled with more time spent outdoors.

For a while now I've wanted to stop blogging, but I suppose I've always felt I had one more thing to say or to vent about.
But Algamdulillah - this is it. It's been very therapeutic and thanks to the those who dropped by to read whatever I typed, and double thanks to those who left a comment.

So long, farewell and all the best.

Please keep us in your duahs

Love and Regards

Carimah

Reflections

As Ramadaan nears it's end, one can only reflect on the month .... but I had a few other reflections too .....

I read a few of my older posts, and the first thing that struck me was that it's still cold ! Last November I complained about no summer. I've been feeling that it's been a bit long that I've layered my clothing and I am not mistaken ! I think I need to move closer to the equator. Electricity restrictions doesn't go well with cold weather !

Secondly, DD has changed !! She is no longer a helpful little person in my life. DS still messes when he eats, but now he cleans too! Perhaps being helpful is a phase they go through.

Thirdly, I still can't keep a hand on a tidy house! I have a lady cleaning twice a week and a dishwasher. The level seems unchanged whether DD is home or not. All I can deduce is that DH's absence is giving me more, so I think it is time to delegate .....

Finally Ramadaan reflections..... all I can say is Algamdulillah that my heart aches that it is coming to an end.

Eid Mubarak everyone !

What's new ?!

So here's my "later" post.
DD was home and I didn't know what I was supposed to do with her!
It was all so sudden and feeling like DH dumped her education on me.
Algamdulillah a few good friends guided me and I did NOTHING ! I decided to slow things down. It was getting out of hand with her EXPECTING me to occupy her ALL day and the kind of things that DS couldn't partake in so that caused major upheaval.
But she wanted to be kept busy - so following Home schooling resources we created a lap book . How fantastic ! It's like scrap booking meets school projects ! Our theme was Ramadaan and I tried to keep it low key for her level. (Yes, I could take pictures and post them to show you, but I have a workshop and outreach iftaar tonite and have fruit platters to prepare after the workshop so I'm not going to.)
So the basics of what we covered for this lap book

• Ramadaan is the 9th month of the Islamic calendar
• phases of the moon
• do's and don'ts in Ramadaan
• Cave of Hira and revelation of Surah
• Laylatul Qadr
• Ramadaan Quizz
  
• Ramadaan Duas
• Eid maze
• Information about Eid

A few of these were found online at other blogs.

But as you have read in the other post I was so busy keeping her busy I didn't get time for me.
So I took charge - I really shouldn't - I should leave things for DH, but he's not efficient... or at least not efficient enough for me !
So I called up this Hifz school that a dear friend has been telling me about and I really liked the sales pitch. ( I say that as many people can sell a product, it's only once you use it do you agree or not. ) It's a big decision as the commitment comes from more than just the child. I prayed and prayed but didn't seem content. I then arranged to meet with another school. unfortunately I couldn't make the meeting and DH went. I arranged to meet at the school later that week so as I get more of a clue and I LOVED it ! I love the idea of learner centered and going at your own pace. But how would this all tie together ?
After more praying and more duahs it clicked. DD is 5 and "technically" only needs to be registered at school in 2011 when she is 7. That gives us a year's grace.
Insha'Alalh the plan is for her to attend the Hifz school. I am hoping to do a teaching program with HLL school and home school her during her hifz period. And then we'll take it from there.
So why is she at school now ?
The Hifz school requires her to do a 2 week assessment and once we decided on this plan we let her start immediately. And she LOVES it !
Algamdulillah

15th of Ramadaan

I can't believe it's half way already ! :-(
I decided to be different this year. Not set goals I couldn't achieve and beat myself up. It's been a tough few months and the past few weeks had more than enough change to throw me out of sync with schedules. I like my ducks in a row, but every now and then they can change direction.
For some or other reason I just couldn't find my Ramadaan groove. Having DD at home was great, I did alot with her - she did a wonderful Ramadaan lapbook (more on that next time). Having the 2 kids and the usual busy house schedule with DH coming home 10 minutes before iftar has been a challenge and tiring. Initially I tried doing taraweeg and tahajud and witr - but I felt exhausted. And would crash after Thur salaah. DD started school (more on that later ;-) ) and I thought freeing me up would help, but still not. This is my off time, and funny how it is, when you can't do something you want it more....
THAT's my groove - I usually have a 2 day break, but this month I'm onto 5 ! I MISS salaah, I WANT to read Quran, and I want to spend my time doing THAT. As disappointed as I felt that it's 5 days, I realise Allah's Wisdom in answering my duah to get the Ramadaan feeling. I have been going through the motions with loads of things - the kids, the house, ibaadah. And having the extended, unexpected break, jolted me and made me grateful. Insha'Allah now that I have realised the lesson - I can get back to partaking in the joys of the month!
If anyone else has been feeling off track - take advantage while you can.
I pray that I live to see another Ramadaan, so that I may continue to enjoy it's blessings.

Life lessons and big decisions

What a week ! I am so emotionally drained today! Well, I DID cry quite a bit. Some days it's not easy being a parent.
Let me take you through the long process that led me here.
Algamdulillah we decided we wanted DD to study the Quran full time. Though a simple enough decision, we had a few things to decide mainly WHEN. After chatting to NUMEROUS people this was our conclusion : she starts next year and includes academic studies. There aren't many places that offer it. Dh spoke to a few sheikhs and concluded that I do the academic syllabus and get a tutor for the Quran lessons. Everything was gong well. (Remember my post about BIG changes in our family ? ) She'd complete the rest of the year and I'd get a curriculum and find a tutor etc.
And then .... then the darn swine came ! H1N1 hit the school and we decided to keep her home. Personally I think DH enjoyed not having to travel to the school in the morning and battle with traffic back to work, and announced that we should keep her at home and start the program now. I was unsettled. I wasn't ready and felt confused. I don't like sudden changes that change almost everything! It has been an odd 10 days, one day I want her back at school and he doesn't, then he says ok she goes back and then I realise his point and decide to keep her. In all of this SHE was very confused! And THAT was the worst feeling for me ! She missed her classmates and even though she wanted this, she didn't know how to get both.
When making this decision, I thought the hardest thing I'd have to face is our parents, but after dealing with my, DD, and Dh's emotions, dealing with my dad was easy!
By this morning I was still unsure. Yes we had decided to keep her home and there seemed to be hurdles in the path - like with any decision. We decided to contact the school - Aasiyah had a few things there and wanted to collect them. I think I was more emotional than her. We chatted to the teachers and a few of her classmates, but she was great. She seemed to have found her contentment with the decision Algamdulillah.
Someone commented recently : what can we learn from children ? We can learn about LIFE in it's purest form!
May Allah guide us on this path. May our intentions stay pure and solely to win His pleasure. Aameen.

Some more advertising

OK, so I know I said I probably won't be blogging before Ramadaan, but things change. Like the outbreak of H1N1 at DD's school. If that was a test of faith, I failed - I very quickly opted to keep her home rather. Having a healthy kid at home for a few days is better than a sick kid for 2 weeks!
But that's another story - my house cleaning saga continues!
I thought I had settled on good enough, but I suppose after a few weeks of the same dust bunnies hoping around my house, I got fed up. So I got rid of yet another domestic worker. I decided to commit to an agency - yes it's more pricey, but definitely value for money!
Nadia, has her own agency called The Dream Team. If you want her number you'll have to mail me. Today was the second time I had one of her cleaners at my house, my home is "show house" quality clean!
Now let me give you an idea of all previous workers. On day one at my house they complete ALL tasks around 5pm. After a few weeks they slowly drop to 3pm and then 2pm. I'm a get-done-and-leave kinda employer. The Dream team, worked from 8:15 to 12:15 just in the bedrooms ! She left at 6pm and that didn't include ironing! She was THAT thorough! She is the FLYLADY!! She did everything that I would spread out over weeks - like wiping down walls, and dusting door frames!
Basically, even at this rate, if she slacked, it would still be an outstanding clean!
Algamdulillah

More Nostalgia

We spent the weekend at Leopard Trail. It's a farm just outside Bonnievale, near Robertson. A little more than 2 hours outside of Cape Town. We stayed in a 6 bedroom house and it was HUGE! After getting lost and confused, I eventually drew a map to get my head around what was going on. The house was built in the 1930's around the same time as my home, so there were many similarities with regards to the old feel of the house. The difference being that THIS house, had the furniture too! The kitchen , which is generally the heart of the home, was the most nostalgic for us. The old style kitchen table and chairs - fake wood look with metal structure. We competed in whose granny had that set in their house! The classic wooden display cabinet with sliding glass - very cottage style. And of course all wood has been painted! But this picture/photo of vegetables was the draw card for us - we stood staring at it as if it was a Rembrandt ! It looked familiar, but I couldn't place where I had seen it. But not just seen it - knew it, grew up with it. It was part of my history. Undecided whether it was my granny's place or auntie or a local corner shop, after further discussion, it seems EVERYONE had a relative with that picture up in their house! So it might just be that.
So we are at this farm, and they have farm animals and fruit trees. Fruit being one of their main produce, as well as milk. So on arrival we received a jug of FRESH cow milk! We were all a bit hesitant at first. The idea seemed as odd as drinking milk from a cat! Eventually I gave in and decided to take a gulp (with my nose closed and trying not to focus on the cream layer on top or fat content) - what a moment! It was like a taste bud flash back ! THIS is what milk tastes like ! I know this taste! My fat free version is but cream/white water in comparison. I indulged the first day int his gift of Allah, surely something so tasty could not be harmful. But after a mug full the next morning, guilt and fake heart pains made me "versak". I look forward to the days when I can indulge in the rivers of milk and honey.
We did our trip to town and found the dairy factory shop so got our stock of cheeeeeeeese, milk (fat free) and ice cream. A quick detour to a farmers market then back to the farm in time to see the cows being milked. The kids LOVED it! I think the best part was seeing calves. They are gorgeous! DS was fascinated by everything; tongues, licking, cows, milk. And he smelled like it too!
We haven't been 4x4ing a while, so we had to squeeze it in for old times sake. The route was basic. A few slopes here and there, but nothing a Toyota can't handle. Had the path been wet or the river full, it might have been more interesting. But all in all I think we have out grown "because we can" and are more at "to get where we need to go". To me doing rough routes is simply the way to explore what we need to.
3 dams on the farm, made for a fun afternoon for the kids. There were boats, canoes and mud - so I think it catered for all ages ;-)

So what's my review? I'd make this a permanent holiday house !
The size was perfect for all of us and there was plenty to entertain the kids.
The campsite didn't look too bad. The shower works with a donkey, and I've never been a fan of that. But the shade, dams and lapa could make it a great spot if not crowded.

(I wanted to post a few pics but I changed my operating system and having issues with uploading. Sorry)

Mosaics and 3D pictures

Do you recall a few years ago (ok, maybe more than a few, perhaps more than 10 years ago), Cardies and Get Graphic sold these 3D pictures. You had to stare at them and relax your eyes before you saw the picture.

Do you know those moments in your life where everything seems like an odd piece of a puzzle that doesn't fit and then a little while (or alot depending on the number of pieces in your puzzle) you stand back and you see the picture that the pieces made, like a mosaic.

Tonight, in the still and quiet of the night I had such a moment. A moment of mental peace, which allowed me to relax my eyes, to stand back and view the picture.

The past few months have felt odd, like disjointed bits of a 3D puzzle! I felt completely out of sorts with my life. But the gale wind that blew my life upside down, was not without purpose. Sometimes it needs to be that strong, to fight against my stubborn nature, or to guide to a new, better path, or to take us off the course we are heading. Either way, when it blows, just relax your eyes and let go. Let it take you where you need to go. I stumbled across a few rocks for support, some where used just to get my balance, others were like ropes guiding me, supporting me when I needed it Algamdulillah. But ultimately it's to prepare me for a new path. Insha'Allah a better path.

Welcome August !

As'salaam'alaykum!

Hello to Dublin, Brunei, Blackburn and Uitenhage! Hello to all the others as well - who are you ? Say hello ! Uitenhage, do I know you ?

So I had a good weekend Algamdulillah.
It started when I received my new Monasib tracksuit. It's so pretty and comfy. I had just about given up buying clothing from a store as I am not an amoeba or reptile that could slink into clothing ! But THIS, fit me like a glove !! The pants, was not too tight at the thighs, not a hipster and didn't have to be shortened at the bottom!! So I look forward to saving my money and getting more items from Monasib Insha'Allah. It is an online store, so please support her if you can.
Saturday morning, dressed in my tracksuit I joined the 2nd part of the Spiritual Retreat in preparation for Ramadaan. I wasn't there long but managed to extract alot. I made some wonderful connections with wonderful ladies. Though I didn't participate much in the Ramadaan planning, it was good to just be able to voice my intentions and make it "real". See Quran Surah 2 verse 183 - 185.
We also did a pilates class with a physio. I had done MANY pilates classes but this one was one of the best ! I have never felt my muscles working and had so much pain after!
Today was special - DH and I had a date ! We attended IRF fundraiser. It always feels so odd being out without the kids. Riaad Moosa was hysterical as the MC and Zain Bhika was truly amazing to listen to. The drummer on the duff (?) was very good - reminds me to look into Drumming as an extra-mural ! But the highlight moment for me was when 5 orphan girls came out and sand "My mum is amazing!" From the moment I heard what song it was, I felt teary - by the time the song ended the tears just ran down my cheeks!
I doubt I'll be blogging for a while - I hope to make the most out of every moment in Ramadaan Insha'Allah.
I wish you all a good month, may your taqwa and imaan increase and may you sustain it afterwards Insha'Allah

Thes BEST 3 weeks ever!

Tomorrow is the last day of the school holidays..... and I am sad. These past 3 weeks have been my best this year Algamdulilah. I've been doing alot of knowledge expanding as a person, as a wife and as a mother. Most has been put into practise these last 3 weeks and it has made my life easier.
Firstly, all the "plans" I had for the time DD would be at home, I threw out - we'll wing it. DD has had a hard 6 months, adjusting to school, having to get up early, discipline, behaviour, work etc. So she needs a break. And BOY did she get it.
Everyday we got up late - well she did, I still got up at 6, it's habit now.
Breakfast happened when we felt and had whatever we felt like. Some days we only dressed after lunch, others not at all. We went out when we could and played and did some art. The easy going tone was refreshing.
Secondly, I started to parent positively. Following a course I found on FB, I have been changing the way I deal with the kids and it has made a BIG impact on our lives. Spending just a few minutes everyday with them has calmed them down. They now spend more time playing alone or with each other !! Training them to do things has also been one of our greatest achievements ! Family contributions in the form of helping with laundry, dishes, beds etc. It spreads the load that I usually carry on myself! Domestic worker number .... 5, didn't pitch, but it was ok, as we had a system going. Number 6 now works only twice a week. The kids just call her aunty - as they can't keep up with the frequent changes of ladies.
Thirdly, some BIG family decisions have been made. DD wants more siblings - but it's not that !
I'll blog as these come into play Insha'Allah.
Keep us in your duahs.

Thank you

Though outside of this world of blogging, this might seem trivial, but receiving this award means alot to me. As you know I am never sure if anyone is ever reading my rants and raves. Just last week I considered stopping and removing all posts of a personal nature.
So a sincere thank you to My Hijab

And now I pass the award on to the following bloggers :

1. Laughing out Loud - for making me laugh til I fall of my chair !

2. Fragrant Rose - for the constant inspiration

3. Stranger in this Dunya - for her outstanding photography

4. Cape Town Revert Forum - for her reporting and food for thought topics

5. My islamic short stories - because I enjoy them so much.

9 years

9 years ago my mommy died (May Allah have mercy on her soul and grant her Jannah Insha'Allah). In these 9 years, I have never earmarked the day. Honestly, I have to check the exact date as I do not have it memorised. Some find that odd, maybe even cold, but for me, that day does not define her.

Being the youngest of 3, and hence the last to attend school, I think I spent the most "alone" time with mommy. I loved our tea-times and lunch times. It was nothing special - not a party or anything, just a fond memory. As was walking in the city, holding her hand. She had the softest touch and the loveliest fingers. I can feel her touch over my head when I am ill, I can feel the rare slap when I was disrespectful. My days are filled with reminders of her as I spend time with my kids. But with each year, the memories reduce, or I think about her less. I pray that whatever good I do or am rewarded for doing in this life, she, as my mother gets part of as well Insha'Allah.

9 years ago ........ It's a bitter sweet memory. I lost the most important person in my life without knowing it until she was gone. But I found the most important One, my Creator, Allah. It's been 9 years since I whole-hearted submitted, covering up and striving to be the best servant and aiming on the promised rewards. For those who haven't embarked on the journey yet - it's not just about wearing a scarf or dressing modestly, it is so much more. The journey of knowledge is endless. But even with all the outward changes and appropriate sayings and actions, the growth gets deeper.
DH had always had a shadow of wisdom I couldn't quite place. It was rare and happened only at the most opportune times. It seems so out of character for him that sometimes he seems surprised himself with what he says. Tonite I realised the wisdom in his words: Islam is not just about the outside, but as much (if not more) about the inside (character).
Perhaps, this night, 9 years later, marks my graduation to a newer, deeper understanding ......
Insha'Allah

12:30pm

For those who are not part of the pick-your-kid-up-in-the-middle-of-the-day club , wait til you get there !

Today was the first day of mid-year break and it was fabulous! Yes, the kids were up before the sun, but there wasn't the usual rush of trying to get cleaned, fed and dressed. However, we still managed to be cleaned, fed and dressed by 9am! But the best part of the day was at 12pm. There was no rush to be somewhere, no rush to complete a task, or thought about starting a task that might run beyond 12pm. As 12pm is generally when I leave home to fetch DD at school. My pre-programmed brain clicked at 11:45, and I realised I had TIME ! Time I don't usually have and I spent it .... with my kids. (Thanks to http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/) I gave them each 10 minutes alone. DS wanted to play with some colourful shapes. DD wanted to play with her fairy dolls. And at the end, there was still some time left over for me ..... I spun around the kitchen trying to figure out what to do with MY time ..... laundry ? start lunch ? NO! I did TAEBO 8 min workout !

Today was a good day ...... Algamdulillah

Lost and found

The problem with knowing who you are is that when you "lose yourself" you know who you are missing ...... you know WHAT you are missing and it makes the battle even harder.
I'm constantly caught between the battle of "real" job and SAHM. I know it is a real job being at home, but the lack of response in the position, makes me feel unappreciated. As if earning a living would make me more worthy.
So once again I embarked on trying to find "a job". Reading extracts from I am Sheba gave me the boost I needed to set a goal and try to achieve it. This one was different to the others, it required me to do a personality test, which I had to pay for. I was reluctant, but curious. Curiosity got the better of me when I was presented with a discounted price for the report.
I didn't really find out anything new about me - like I said, I already knew me. But a few things were made clearer and the big smack on my head came at just the right moment.
Mostly, it opened up dialogue between me and DH, perhaps HE needed to understand me more than I did.
Ironically, I am currently in the worst working environment for my personality type! I thrive on order, logic, structure - and DS is all chaos and confusion for me ! (If he chokes once more I might have an anxiety attack!) Somehow it helps knowing that. Knowing that when I freak out at things, it is because it is against what I am programmed to control.

Perhaps these moments which seem the darkest, are the ones which determine a significant path. And time spent in reflection makes light at the end of the tunnel ......
Or it's just my personality type to over analyse everystep before taking it !
Either way, it's my journey and I have the best first mate for the trip. One who thrives in chaos ..... DH !

Pussycat, pussycat where have you been ?

I wish I could say "I've been to London to visit the queen", but no I've been busy.
With what ? Just trying to survive life I guess. The past few weeks have just been emotionally draining on me. My constant struggle with housework and finding someone to do it. (It's shocking how many odd people there are out there !) Then the battle of looking after the kids. (And yes, I only have two ... but you know what, those who can handle more, get more. And I think 2 is my limit.... at least THESE two! )
It's been taxing on my body, on my mind and my soul. All of which threw me into a BIG pity party! And those who know me, know that I do not throw those kinds of parties! From my mum's illness then death, to my infertility and other issues, I've never felt self-pity Algamdulillah. But these past few weeks, had me so down ...
My body ached and I needed to get physio or a massage - I had no one to look after the kids at the times available.
My mind has slowly deteriorated simply due to the lack of stimulation !
My soul - my soul ached. It knew the sweet taste of submission, pure submission, not this half-hearted act while distracted by kids!
I knew the cure but was wallowing so deeply in the pity, I couldn't get myself to do anything. (The cold weather didn't help either) Then Algamdulillah I had this moment - don't recall when or what it was, not really important - but I decided to be selfish, not horrible selfish, just enough to take care of me.
First was a wonderful day out with my sisters (blood ones) - had back and foot massages which were heavenly. Then late lunch or early supper of sushi ! It was good! DD was with, but it was good. That just got me started! It was like having a piece of exotic chocolate and you need another piece !
There were hurdles along my path of progress, but by this week I felt I was out of the bog! When DH said he needed to be away for 2 nights for work, I was cool. I'd take charge. I arranged for DD to get a lift in the mornings. Suppers would be simple and I'd prep lunch in the evening.
And slowly it started to unravel.....
Monday , no one came to clean my house. No problem - I'll call the service for Tuesday. I decided NOT to clean up either, as the "new" me would concentrate on what I needed to do which is care for DS.
Tuesday morning - 5am, DH leaves for airport. 6am - I get up and get DD ready for school. 7am - I get a call - DD's lift can't make it ! No problem ...... I'll do it, DS is awake anyway. (Traffic was a shocker back, by the way!) Get home - cleaning service can't make it !!
LONG day with kids. Tried to indulge them to keep them (and me) sane .. about to relax and make magrib salaah - I hear screams and cries. DD's nose is bleeding ! DS hit her in the face with a wooden toy!
Wednesday morning - take DD to school again, DS screams in the car all the way home.
Lady comes to clean - yeah !! Breathe, today will be a good day..... DS and I go out.
Great afternoon playing with the kids - yummy simple supper... bedtime. Kids dressed and ready to be tucked in ...... I put DS in first, walk around to DD's bed - BANG ! CREAK! crying ! I turn , DS is crying and has his hand on his forehead - he must have knocked it .... it's BLEEDING !!! There's a deep HOLE !! Blood is OOZING !! Breathe, breathe, apply pressure .. what ? what ? Call the GP - no answer .. what must I do - he needs stitches right ? Who am I talking to ? No one is here .. no one is HERE !!! Breathe, it's ok ... call dad ...... "Tell Marwaan to take you to the hospital" .. "Marwaan ? He's not here ....... {tears, crack, more tears}. (Ok, that's enough to give you the idea right ?)
OK, so how am I ? Frazzled! I have never felt more crap in my life .... I felt so guilty that he got hurt. I don't know why. I felt SOOO alone and helpless. (Thanks dad and sis for coming around though it REALLY helped.)
When I took DD to school this morning - I took the M5 home so took FOREVER ! DS fell asleep ALGAMDULILLAH (must be the medication), and thought about things .. about life, about now, about this "phase". It's SO hard for me. Algamdulillah DH has the new job, but he's around less, which gives me more to do. Algamdulillah for the lady who cleans my house - even though she has asthma and struggles to get up the hill to my house. Algamdulillah for my kids, but having to be on guard and play ref ALL day is so tiring and I just need a moment for my brain and my heart to rest and not feel guilty and worry that if I took that break, that something bad might happen to one of them.......

So what now ? I stay on the path ... I take a new turn, Insha'Allah one to I AM SHEBA .

Autumn camping !

It's always risky going away in April. Usually Easter weekend is sure to rain. Lately the weather has been on its own course, and even though camping over Easter was so hot DD's nose bled, it had no reflection on what to expect 2 weeks later......

We watched the weather all week, and sure enough each day a storm seemed more and more imminent. A few campers cancelled for various reasons and only the die-hards were left. Wednesday it seemed another family might cancel due to bad flu. Thursday night DH got ILL ! Hectic ill ! He was in pain and ended up in hospital. But he was home by 12am and ready to leave the next day !! I had hoped he would back out, I had earned my bad-weather-camping badge already - I didn't have to go through it again !

Rivierzicht was beautiful! The wooden cabins were like honeymoon suites ! The campsites were BIG and right on the river ! The ablutions were a bit of a walk, but clean. Once again complete bathrooms, so it was spacious. We set-up just before the rain came. Having people in the cabins made it easy to get shelter, but we were all tired and retired pretty early.
The next morning was wet - but a beautiful rainbow greeted us and encouraged me to get out of the tent. The kids were fed and dressed quickly as there wasn't much place to keep them locked in. They were thrilled that they were allowed to play outside! DS went all out - splashing every puddle he could find ! He even rolled in it and got terribly muddy! Since he had brought his car with, he took it on a 4x4 course, dragging it through the wet and muddy terrain!
After breakfast the rain poured a little harder and we took shelter under our canopy. Water would gather on top and then come splashing down - this was great for washing and rinsing the dishes ;-) , but then DS realised he could walk through it too !! Eventually we decided to load everyone in the cars and go to Robertson.
They have lots to offer. We went to the farmers market - which was really great for olive oil and olives ! Good fudge too ;-p We delayed the bird sanctuary for when the Harris boys joined us so went to the Toeka se skou (?) or something like that. It was a fair with people dressed like they were on their way in the ox-wagon in the Great Trek ! Bonnets and all! They dragged out any old machines and cars they had and it seems the guys had the best time! When we returned to the camp, the rest of the campers arrived and that was the start if the camp....
The weather cleared Algamdulillah, I was running out of clean clothes for the kids! We played games, sat around and ate, chatted, bird watched .... our usual lamming and at the end of the weekend we didn't go to the bird sanctuary! But the kids had a great time, there was a boat so they went out on the river. Those left behind started reshaping the coast and used the mud to build a village, with dams, bridges, waterways etc. Eventually it all collapsed !

A definte return, perhaps many more returns Insha'Allah. And of course going to the bird sanctuary.

Oh highlight : I literally crawled out of bed for Fajr salaah. It was pretty cold too ... Shakes called out and asked for a good torch. When I came out he pointed to the top of a tree - there sat a HUGE owl. "woo hoo woo hoo " - it didn't sound like a bird at all - I thought it was a human voice! As it got lighter, he turned and took flight - seeing his wings spread out - he was magnificent to watch! Mash'Allah!!! These moments, these signs of Allah's creation is what it's all about!

photos

Inspiration

Discover U

I subscribed to Discover U. Each week I get a an email and they are really great - short and sweet.
Here are a few of my favourites :


Qur'an:
Say: "Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us: He is our protector": and in Allah must Believers place their trust.
Surat At-Tawbah 9:51
[Lessons from this Verse] Whatever tests you are going through today, Allah knows it. He is your protector. Turn to Allah in submission and worship, placing your trust in Him, and watch what happens!

Algamdulillah - I testify to this everyday. Sometimes I feel like the pieces don't quite make sense, but then it's as if the mosaic is coming together and I submit and take a step back and see the picture .... and it is WONDERFUL !


[Hadith]
Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari, radi Allahu 'anhu, reported that the Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the fires. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the fires, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him." Bukhari and Muslim
[Lessons from this Hadith]
Who are the top 5 people you hang out with? List them. Now look at their qualities and you'll notice that you are a product of the sum of them. Do they have the outstanding qualities that you seek? If not, then it's time to find some bearers of musk that you can truly smell great from.

Algamdulillah I can honestly say that I have chosen good company. I weed often - and I know it seems like a terrible trait, but if I find company not beneficial or emotionally draining or just negative, I walk away. Insha'Allah I have qualitites that others can benefit from .....


[Hadith]
Abu Hurayrah, radi Allahu 'anhu, narrates: I heard Allah's Messenger saying, "My example and the example of the people is that of a man who made a fire, and when it lighted what was around it, moths and other insects started diving into the fire.
The man tried to prevent them, (from diving in to the fire) but they overpowered him and rushed into the fire. The Prophet added: Now, similarly, I take hold of the knots at your (belts) to prevent you from falling into the Fire, but you insist on falling into it."
[Lessons from this Hadith]
There are so many things in the Qur'an and Sunnah to protect us from falling into sin. Let's stop making excuses and just do it: turn back to Allah and desist from the Haram in our lives now.
No excuses, only results.

Insha'ALLAH this is one I want to work on ..... DD feels so uncomfortable having to kiss males - like her uncles or aunts husbands and culturally it is the norm. May Allah make me strong enough to stand up and say no and not be concerned with what they might think or say about me. (Shukran for the reminder Zaida, maybe if more of us do it, IT will become the norm !)

REMINDER : Easy vs Difficult

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others - Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking - Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us. - Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others - Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules. - Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night. - Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory. - Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon. - Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone. - Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day. - Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone. - Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love. - Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others. - Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes. - Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love. - Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving. - Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others - Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive - Difficult is to give
Easy to read this - Difficult to follow

Proud mommy moment

Last night my DS made his first Magrib salaah!
We had all gotten ready and of course he didn't want to be left out, so I placed him next to DD.
Usually he performs some of the actions, pulls our musllahs, rolls around etc. But last night, he stood there and did each action properly Masha'Allah. He'd peep over at DD to see what to do next, and every now and then she'd instruct him verbally (yes, she's also still learning!). He even belted out an "Ameen".
We all made such a fuss when we were done - for him and DD !
Today he was destructive again, but the moment still shines in my heart to allow me to overlook it ;-)

Weekend in Tulbagh

We stayed at Wild Olive Farm. The camping area was not marked sites, but rather a big open lawn area. Shade was limited as there were only a few trees. Fortunately we had canopies with to keep us "cool". The farm has 3 dams, of which I saw 2 and unfortunately the water levels were too low to swim in. Ablution facilities were good - 3 bathrooms, 2 with showers and one with a bath.

It was VERY hot and when the wind blew it was a dry, hot wind.

The kids LOVED it - from running around on the lawn, to bike riding, rolling on the lawn (DS), going to the ponies, looking for crabs and frogs at the dam, bird watching, canoe ride on the dam, playing on the lawn.

We chilled. Played scrabble, prepared eats, ate, sat, chat - what we do best ;-) And it was wonderful. The break from chores or routine was welcomed. DH and I each selected a child to care for and I got DD of course, but when she woke at night she'd call for DH, so it was very easy for me.

Moments to remember :

Day 1 we took a walk to the ponies and I saw a bird's nest. Pointed it out to DS and made such a fuss about having seen it. A little while later, I was in the tent and DH calls me, tells me to come out. Asks me to step out of the canopy, turn around and look up - the tree under which we were camped was FILLED with nests !
DS choked on a piece of chocolate ! Since it was hot, the chocolate was in the fridge and was hard. It got lodged in his throat, but he was crying so we thought he was ok. I put my finger down his throat and could feel it, it wasn't soft enough. He managed to cough and then swallow poor baby!

Highlights : STUNNING sunsets, AMAZING moon rise !

Rating: I like the camping area, but not the lack of shade. I like the location, but not the heat and lack of cooling off options. There are cabins, but other than riding my bike down a 4x4 path (which was quite fun) I don't think I'd rush back.

scabs, roofies, scars

DD got her first knee scrape ! I was so excited and she was in horror ! "It's NOT nice!" she kept screaming at me ! Well, one day she'll think so and think back on how the scab fell off or bled or she pulled it and stare at her knees with all the scars ........

Well, here's my reminiscing - it's from an email, so I'll adjust it to my life .......


Do you remember ? The time of....
Hide and Seek in the park...or the dark...or anywhere. -remember aan-aan or on-on for the English ppl
The cafe down the road, Donkey, skipping and handstands, backyard cricket with a tomato box, Kennetjie Housie-housie, 5 stones, , building a swing from a piece of rope tied to a tree, tennis on the street or swing ball in the backyard.
Remember when there was a season for everything, before playstations and cartoon networks, computers...
The sound of the fish or fruit & veg vendor in his van. (I wish he'd still come around !)
Wicks bubble gum for a cent! Chappies, Rollerskates, BMX, go-carts (vaantjies)...
Wait, can you still remember...
Sitting at the back of a bakkie or cramming into uncle Goosain/ Hennies kombi ?
When you go to Cape Town you had to visit the gardens
Peeling skin in summer. Sticky fingers and sand in and on everything
Cowboys and Crooks, Rover, , Slides & climbing trees.
Bok-bok, marbles, yo-yo's, tops, lyntjie...10 Hocks (remember the Am I-No, Am I - No)
Running till you were out of breath. - the thought of that brings back memories
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt.
Jumping on the bed..... Pillow fights. - can u remember a bomalakiesie(lol)
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down.
Being tired from playing... Remember that?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
I'm not finished just yet......
Can you still taste and smell... eating jelly suckers, Surfjoy, Jillybillies... -don't forget Chocolina's, appel bompies (till u cough your lungs out)
Ice lollies made from cold drink in Tupperware holders in the freezer.
Licking the spoon when cakes were baked.......... (I always got the spoon)
Marshmallow fish and mice. - Naame lekkers
Remember when...
There were two types of takkies - North Star and the canvas ones, and the only time you wore them at school, was for "PT" in your white shorts & all.
Man from Atlantis, CHIPS, Oscar & Knersus, K-OO-S, Springbok Radio.
Shanana, Startrek, A team, Airwolf, Knight Rider... ZET,feather foot farm,MORF - hey what about Mcguyver
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.and you knew everyone in the road, even the next road.
Nobody owned a pedigree dog!- That's right (en almal se hond se naam was either Blackie, Chico , Spots, Killer (dan is killer so maar), Lassie, Fluffy, Brakenjan, Sheeba, Tiger.)

25 cents was decent pocket money. You'd help an aunty carry her shopping home and she'd give you a 10c!!
When you'd reach into a 'slootjie' for 5 cents and felt lucky. When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there, and you could get a hiding from any of them!
And you got another if you went crying to your mom!!!
When it was considered a great privilege and very unusual to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant or in a proper hotel.
When movies in the school hall !
Remember how we used to lie on the grass & eat vrietangs & sierangs?
The reason why they tasted so sour was because dogs use to pee on them...(that was what we were told)
Remember when any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of muggings, drugs, gangs, etc..
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat....and some of us are still afraid of them!!!
Didn't that feel good.....just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!
Remember when.... Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Nix!"
A "race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money was handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly"
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a BIC pen pea shooter or a "kettie".
Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable vitamin C, Milk of Magnesia or a spoonful of castor oil.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Skills and courage were discovered because of a "dare".
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

If you can remember most or all of these, then....
YOU HAVE LIVED!!!!

Email keeper / reminder ;-)

An Example of a Good Wife
This is a rare example of a good woman, whom I have intended to mention here:
It is reported that Shuraih, who was a judge, met ash-Sha'bi. This latter asked him about his life at home. Shuraih said: "I have not had any problem with my wife for twenty years." ash-Sha'bi said: "How come?" Shuraih replied: "On our wedding night, I looked at her and saw a rare fascinating beauty. I then said to myself: I should make Wudu' , pray two Rakaa't and praise Allah. When I finished, I found out that she was following me in prayers and finished as soon as I had finished. When the guests left the house, I moved towards her and tried to touch her. But she said: "Wait a minute 0 Abu Umayyah (i.e., Shuraih), stay where you are." Then, she said: "All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad O. I am a stranger to you and I have no idea about your morals and attitudes. So tell me what you like and I will do it, and what you hate and I will avoid it. She
continued: There must be among your people a woman that you could have married and a man among my people that I could have married, but Allah 6* has accomplished a matter already ordained in His Knowledge. Allah has given you control over me, so obey Him; either retain me
on reasonable terms or release me with kindness. This is all I have to say and may Allah forgive us both." Shuraih, then, said: I found myself in need of giving a Khutbah, which I had not delivered for quite a long time. I said: All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His
aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad . You (i.e., his wife) have said many things, which, if you stand firm on them, you will be rewarded, but if you fail them, they will be evidence against you. I love such and such things, and I hate such and such things. You may spread whatever good deed you see, and conceal whatever evil deed you see. She, then, said: "What would you say to my relatives visiting?" I replied: "I do not want your family to dictate things to me." She said: "Which of your neighbours do you want to visit me? I said: "The family of such and such are good people and the family of such and such are bad company.
Shuraih, then, said. I had a wonderful wedding night and our first year was marvelous. When the new year came and upon my return from the court, I found a woman in my house. I asked my wife: 'Who is she?' My wife replied: `Your mother-in-law.' My mother-in-law looked at me and
asked: "How do you find your wife?" I sad 'The best wife a man can have.' She, then, said: '0 Abu Umayyah, you will be in a worse condition than her only in two cases: if she gives birth to a child or if she enjoys your favours. I swear that men have never been inflicted with a worse evil
than a spoilt woman. So discipline your wife. I lived with my wife for twenty years and never
complained about her, except once, and then I was unfair to her.

This is how a husband should be, how a wife should be and how a mother-in-law should be.

The unseen

It used to scare me, especially Jinn. The older generation used to say you shouldn't talk about them because then they come! Well, Algamdulilah I have overcome that fear and can comfortably talk about beings I cannot see.

I know the kids can see things..... When DD was younger she'd say things : "Malaa'ieka in my room or bed" I used to be concerned but realised she wasn't scared of it. Once we were playing on my bed and all of a sudden she asked "Who's that?" Since no one was at our house I jumped up and asked her where, she replied "there on the grass". I couldn't see anyone. She said it was a man. So I recited the Quls and went on playing. Now DS sees things, since he cannot talk much he isn't telling us much, but often he'll wave at nothing, and go back to the same spot and wave again and again. With a movie like Tinkerbell it makes it somewhat easier to explain to the kids ..... there aren't little fairies that do the things described in the movie, but rather Allah has angels who do their part with regards to nature.

Which reminds me of another thing : Last weekend looking at the rock paintings - no one really has a clue what they mean. There was one drawing which they say looks like a praying mantis, but since the pictures are faded, half the drawing might be lost ..... anyway, I believe that the San/Bushmen like any other nation had a Prophet /Messenger and that the drawings depict the message and the strange praying mantis drawing is an angel. But that's just my guess based on a few paintings ;-)

FRESH AIR WANTED *cough*

The constant smoke and soot last week pretty much made us all ill. The kids and I were coughing badly. Since DS and I hardly leave the house we were affected the worse.... feeling ill didn't help, DH offered to fetch DD at school, but then we realised we missed out on our 30min of "fresh" air! So when the insurance sent an ozone team to clean up our house and requested we leave for 48hours, we made a booking at Kagga Kamma. I've always wanted to go there .....

Our accommodation was a hut - which on the outside looks very small - kinda hobbit-like, but was surprisingly spacious! With a king-sized bed and a sleeper couch. It came with all the fancies - the white towels, the toiletries, the towelling gowns, chocolates on our pillows etc. Such luxury for regular campers !

Having not camped in 10 months I was eager to get into the fresh air, to enjoy the crisp morning air with a warm cup of tea. And I was not disappointed! After a really good nights' sleep Algamdulillah, I awoke and had a cappuccino (thanks ZS!)

About Kagga Kamma - I love the cederberg area - the rich red coloured rocks and sand, the bushman artifacts : rock paintings, the shades of green in the dry arid vegetation, the sharp blue sky- it's like a painting ! If you clicked on the link you may have seen the caves which you can sleep in - I didn't get a chance to check them out, but they look interesting. Activities are based on meals and drives. So there is a morning drive returns for breakfast. Then a rock painting drive after breakfast. Lunch then videos/sport in the pub. A sun downer drive then supper. And they have a mini observatory after supper. It can fill your day!

We skipped the morning drive and opted to sleep in - the fresh air made the kids very tired and they slept like logs! The rock painting trip was .... a trip! The guide was a joke ! He decided that since most of the information are theories anyway - he'd share HIS view rather! The joke was that the German tourists looked very serious as they listened to his nonsense! Along the way we saw a few animals in the distance and there was even a rock that looked like a klipspringer !

The afternoon we needed DS to fall asleep so did our own drive through the park - but saw all of 3 animals ! So the evening we decided to join the sun downer trip and it was AMAZING! No, not for seeing game - I've seen plenty more at Addo so had low expectations - but just the amazing view from the spot the guide took us. (A different guide not he idiot from the morning !) DD was thrilled cos she saw and fed an elephant shrew. For those who don't know it's a mouse like rodent with a trunk nose - and personally only seen on tv or in magazines so it was one of that YAW! moments for us. Plus we had a professional photographer with us who offered to take a family pic (hope he emails it!)

Now on to the other activity : eating ! Meals were included in the package and since many Muslims had told me they went there, I felt comfortable requesting halaal food. The food WAS very tasty, the portions were HUGE though and though I am not one to waste I couldn't finish a meal ! Then there was an incident .... DH decided he wanted eggs .... and they included bacon - when he corrected them you could tell they just took the bacon off!! EEEEEEWWWWWWWW !!

Algamdulillah he took it as a dawah opportunity and went to the kitchen to explain - they had NO idea !!! And THAT shocked me ! And THAT turned me off the food. Though I had little choice as I wasn't able to provided my own - however, I did opt to leave early so as to skip lunch!

Another plus was eating outdoors for supper - it was lovely cool evening and the stars were our decor !

I didn't think it was a great place for kids though .... at least not my aged kids! There wasn't MUCH to do - game drives and eating are not really fun for them. There was a pool, but being ill I didn't bring bathers with and there was a little patch of lawn for them to play on. High grasses and reeds surrounded the hut and I wasn't comfortable with them playing in it.

Algamdulillah, my cough has subsided, I am relaxed, I am refreshed, I am ready for my loads of laundry that await me ....... or I might start tomorrow !

The silence which hurts

Do you know what one of the most precious moments are for a SAHM ?

Peaceful toilet time! I'm not talking about sit with a book for an hour time, just time to do what you need to without anyone in the bathroom with you, or at the door while you are there, or calling out for you from somewhere and you have to figure out what kinda call it is and where it is from ! (Toilets get mentioned a lot in my blogs ne ? ) So they are best enjoyed when there is the presence of a responsible adult whom the kids can nag. Today DH was late from work and my timed-toilet-visit was due......

DS figured out how to open the "child-proof" latch on the cupboards. More specifically the one to the detergents. Without DH there, I was on medium-alert. It's has been a long house-full-of-soot day, so I closed the door for some much needed "alone-time". I could hear cupboard doors opening, but figured it was just the plastics ...... then there was the deafening silence ! HIGH ALERT! I listened, I couldn't hear anything. I was too far away...... should I proceed with what I started or get up ? I listened again.... still I heard nothing .... I got up ......

As I walked to the kitchen , I saw the detergents door open - no sign of DS !! I panicked and called him, Mr Stealth kept quiet ! I found him around the corner with a bottle of Windowlene (the spray bottle). His mouth was wet .... I smelt it, yup it's on his mouth ! Grabbed the bottle "Keep away from children" , yes ok .... why ? What's in this ? No ingredients listed. "In case of ingestion contact doctor" .. ok, why ?

I rinsed his mouth and made him spit - I wanted him to throw up ......

I made a few calls and then got in touch with a Poison Center - he should be ok, Algamdulillah, he might just have an irritation on his mouth.

So what did I do with that poison list that was emailed a while ago ..... anyone have it ? If so, please forward to me.

I have since cleared said cupboard and will store rags and brooms in it .......

Where there's smoke there is ... FIRE !!!

Growing up on the slopes of a mountain, we were always aware of fires. The neighbourhood (well at least our road) would all come out and watch the smoke, the fire, the wind and be prepared if it comes too close. I've been through 2 evacuations .. one when I was young, and barely remember the details, and again when I was at high school. We'd always move our car a few blocks down the road, so that we could leave. Daddy always insisted the only things we take with are our school books !! Each and EVERY one ! (Isn't that what you would want must burn at that age ? )

This summer we've had many fires in the province and even though they are far away we could smell it so strongly. So last night when we smelled it, we weren't concerned, we didn't even check it out. Around 11pm my dad called. He could see smoke in the air. He is ALWAYS concerned and needs to know all the info before he can rest. At first DH didn't take it seriously, saw some smoke, but figured it was on the other side. Then daddy called again ..... and when he does that, there is major concern! I felt choked, so insisted DH at least locate the source. The fire was about 10 min away from us and the strong winds made it move ... erm ... like wild fire ;-p .... it seemed out of control. There wasn't much choice - we had to get the kids away. We packed up : school things first of course - thank goodness she's in Grade R - there's only one book!, uniform, clothing and hard-to-replace-documents like IDs, passports, bank details... ooh and whatever cash we had. It's a difficult thing to decide what goes .... or what stays .... but it makes you realise that pretty much everything can be replaced and of the things that cannot, the most important is your family!

Daddy had his own adventure: after moving he car to his spot down the road, the fire had jumped and was burning across the road from his house -so they had to leave immediately.

Neighbours who stayed a bit longer, found themselves evacuated an hour later due to the thick smoke. A palm tree in the road caught fire (good thing we cut ours down), and the sparks caused bounced to the next house!

When we returned home, thick smoke still filled the air, and the house. Soot came though every door crack and vent .... and we had left the bathroom window open, so everything was covered in BLACK!

To this, there is only one thing that anyone can say : Algamdulillah !

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Birthdays

It's been just over a year since we stopped celebrating birthdays.

Now, to put you in the picture - I was raised with birthdays - big family parties with all the cousins etc. Parties with school friends, uni friends etc. They were great! That's how I met DH !

When DD was 1 I was thrilled at having a party and each year I went all out for her : the big family butterfly party, the intimate strawberry shortcake party, the messy party (my favourite), the heart princess party with jumping castle! I loved the theme and going with it from invitation to decor, to eats to party packs.

Since my mum died, I stopped celebrating my birthday. Family supper was the main thing - but mainly my family coming for supper and me being exhausted ! I don't get it ! So I tried to plan weekends away close to that time so that I didn't have to work on my "special day". At job #3, we'd get our bday off - now THAT's cool ! Other bdays also felt very .... obligatory - you are obliged to go cos it's family and obliged to give a gift. So my mindset was already leaning in a certain direction.

I know a few people (virtually) who don't celebrate and it seems mostly because it wasn't a sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) and it had it's roots in pagan understanding. Those of us who still celebrated would argue that we don't do the candle blowing or wishing, and it was just a celebration/appreciation of life.

Then one day I heard a talk on a podcast I downloaded and it hit me ! The talk was about birthdays and everything they spoke about made sense! Obviously the defiant side of me wasn't ready to give it up, but then soon after I heard another talk on tv !! Same topic, same argument ! DH and I chatted and felt we agreed, but didn't make any rules about it until I received an invitation to a party for DD ......

It was VERY difficult year for us. Our family didn't really understand and I, personally, felt that my reason, though based on Islamic principles, was not a fatwa for others and they needed to have their own idea about it, so didn't give much explanations. The year passed, some people ignored what we had said and still called or invited us, others didn't know what they had to do.

Like a friend said to me the other day - everything has to come with it's tests and this has taken a new dimension ! DD, being at school, now has new friends and has to understand that we do not celebrate and do not attend.

The attending of a party is a completely different argument :

Generally there is the obligation of attendance and gift. We've been to parties where we were asked where the gift was ! Gifts get opened publicly and judged - where are the positive values in THAT ?! Every one is competing for a better party pack ! At one party, DD received a party pack valued more than the gift we had brought !! And there is the expectancy of the guest to get a party pack! Not just a bag of the left over goodies - but a selection of luxuries that was not included at the party !!

So finally, for posterity, and hope that one day if I can't recall why - DD and DS can log on and find this, here is my reason:

Our ultimate goal in life is to attain Jannah. We know that everyday brings us closer to death and our gratitude for "Surviving" the day/week/month/year is not a celebration of cheating death, but rather a chance of working harder at getting more points to gain entry to Jannah.

Celebrating the number of years we have spent here, changes the focus of the goal, we try to aim for certain milestones : 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 45, 50, 60, etc.

I wasted 25 of my years, having no focus of the goal - I don't get a do-over, all I can do it try to squeeze in extra in the days/weeks/months/years (Insha'Allah) I have left so that I have enough points to get at least to the first level........

School blues

I wasn't a fan of school .... I enjoyed the friends and assignments, but generally I'd rather be at home ..... mmmmm ..... kinda like I am now ;-) LOL (oops)

Last night DD wasn't well and DH suggested she stay home. DD looked very confused like "WHAT ? That is an option ?!" In all honesty between the 2 of us, I am not sure who was more excited to have DD stay at home. This first term of trekking to take her to school has been very tiring and we have many more trips to make in the future !

So this morning, DH wanted to lie in but I wanted to first see how DD was doing. She woke up tired and said she still felt ill (REJOICE !!!!) It didn't affect me much as I still had my morning chores, but at least it was a new pace, a slower pace, one that need not be done by 12pm! Just before 8am DD was running around playing - not looking ill at all. She claims the panado made her better (Grandpa's child !) and she was all ready to get dressed and go to school. You had to see the horror in our faces ! NO !!! School started already - you CANNOT go now ! She was very disappointed but learnt a valuable lesson : If you are tired, do not lie and say you are ill, cos then we'll keep you home. DD loves school you see, so we have leverage !

Competition

Is competing a good or bad thing ?
I suppose sometimes it could bring out the best in people - to attain more. But generally i have no reason to compete.
Growing up, my eldest sister was the brainy one, good for her. We felt it took the pressure off us as she satisfied the A grades in the family. I still worked and achieved good grades, but didn't feel I HAD to.
But since having kids, life is very competitive. People.. no sorry , other mums compare every thing! Sleep patterns, development, speech, schools, extra-murals etc. Does it matter ? Here I am 33 years old and none of those things affect who I am today ..... well maybe the extra-murals - which I NEVER did and showed when I played netball on the beach the weekend and nearly DIED !!

So it's 30-hot degrees and I can't sleep and thinking about this incident with this competitive mum - I think she is insecure and does it to feel better about herself. And mulling over a seed which has now rooted in my mind and I can't shake. I am almost too scared to share it openly as it is one of those topics which other mums take VERY seriously on the competition circuit.

Where was I going with this again ...... oh yes, so I am thinking about competition and realise the only real competition we should have with each other is competing to obtain jannah and the best apart of THAT competition is assisting/helping others gets you closer to the goal. And THAT is a lesson I want to teach my kids.

Beauty of a Woman

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..

Once upon a time, long, long ago ......

When I worked as a programmer (IT) I never considered myself great. There was always people WAY better that I worked with. Yet somehow, in my short years of working I developed a reputation amongst my colleagues. I'd work with a new team and there would be this awe of "we work with HER!" Towards the end of my career I felt intimidated by the reputation - since I didn't see the greatness I didn't know if I was still achieving it !

A few years later I realised that the awe was not so much in my skill at programming code, but more my work ethic of getting the job done, being a perfectionist and being organized.

These skills have all been tarnished since taking on the task of SAHM. The variables are too unstable to achieve perfection, order or ever calling a job complete. However, I have never felt more suited at a job! If ever I wondered what am I good at -NO, GREAT at - it's being a mom! Algamdulillah. Now, don't get me wrong I don't have the best kids - they're not perfect little angels and I do yell.

Today I got a call from my sister.... she's my eldest sister -also in IT ... she followed the ranks from programmer to team leader to project manager/ architect etc. and now is a top manager Masha'Allah. We never worked together or worked with the same people ... until now. She presented something at work and one of the guys worked with me at my last job. (I changed almost yearly!) He asked if she knew me (having the same surname) and when she said she was my sister - he flipped his lid ! He gushed about how great I was and called his pals to tell them this was my sister ! (Major shocker for my sister as I'm usually her sister!) So even though my sister was totally thrown by this news, it was a nice ego boost for my day. And for the first time in 6 years ... I missed work.

Some funnies for fellow IT nerds.

Random questions

Where is your cell phone? - on the kitchen table
Your hair? - short
Your mother? - gone :-(
Your father? - happy
Your favorite thing? - playing with my kids
Your dream last night? - odd about ppl I hardly see
Your favorite drink? - a lekker cup of tea
What room are you in? - tv room
Your fear? - something happening to my kids
Where do you want to be in 6 years? - still at home with the kids ;-)
Where were you last night? - at home playing scrabble
Something that you aren't? - late (just realised the irony !!! LOL!! )
Wish list item? - bookshelves
Last thing you did? - hung the washing
TV? - Barney (what else?)
Your pets? - died :-(
Friends? - the best
Your life? - stressful right now
Your mood? - optimistic
Missing someone? - Priscilla (LOL!!)
Your car? - Prado !!
Your favorite store? - Fabric world
Your favorite colour? - orange (this week)
When was the last time you cried? - too long ago
Where do you go to over and over? - Pick 'n pay !
My favorite place to eat? - at Zanab's !
Favorite place I'd like to be at right now? - on camp with family and cuzzins !

Toilet humour

Firstly, a reminder to myself : Potty training is officially postponed.

Being more prepared this week, I decided to tackle it again. It was a replay of last time, with an extra day. And the extra day was interesting - I bribed him with jelly beans (which he loves) so it worked. I also took him to the toilet before he could wee, and he let go on the toilet ! BUt when DD was home and my attention dicvided : he didn't want a pants on, made a poo on the floor in two parts ! Then another in his pants later. He pee'd and seriously had NO idea ! So I am of the opinion that after 3 days : he is not ready for this. Algamdulillah.

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When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors. Every cubicle is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!) down with your pants and assume ' The Stance. In this position, your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake.. You'd love to sit down, but having not taken time to wipe the seat or to lay toilet paper on it, you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Dear, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your bag (the bag around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do, so you crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, while losing your footing altogether and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get. By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force and you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a sweet wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this. As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's toilet. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long and why is your bag hanging around your neck? This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with any public rest rooms/toilets (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers that other commonly asked question about why women go to the toilets in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door.

George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak!
And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin